oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize