If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
