he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize