this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
