Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize