You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize