Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
