that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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