Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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