it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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