they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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