I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
