Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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