My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
