His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
