Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
