I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
