then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
