Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
