Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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