Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
