WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
