I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
