are you so shy because you have an std?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
