You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
