i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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