Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
