She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
