who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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