My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
