uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
