At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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