i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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