Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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