So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
