Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize