I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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