and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
