just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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