bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
