I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
