Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
