Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think i got beer on your cat.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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