Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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