Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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