Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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