We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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