Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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