wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
