Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
