He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
