I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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