Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
