marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
