Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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