So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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