belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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