Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
