and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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