Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
