just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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