Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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