I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
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