That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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