Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
