Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
