Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The air was thick with penises
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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