Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize