idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
