Screwed.edu
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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